Sometimes when I am wide awake at 2 in the morning (it’s 4 now), my mind begins to wander, to question the what-ifs, to remember a time before pain and its vicious cycle took over.

I wouldn’t change it.

I wouldn’t change getting my heart broken.

I wouldn’t exchange this pain for the life I had before.

Despite the burning, fiery rage that my connective tissue and nerves have become, my life now—the one where I am so appreciative of every blessing, and there are a plethora—is far richer, far better than I could have dreamed. I have three children that I’m incredibly proud of who I get to spend time with. My time at home, though wracked with pain, is sweet and cherished. I have a puppy- ME! I have a puppy!

I have an amazing tribe.

I invest in myself.

For those dealing with chronic pain and illness, I implore you to look around you, count your blessings. If you haven’t yet, find your tribe. Love them hard. Invest in yourself. Take what precious moments you have and LIVE. Don’t let anyone tell you that you don’t have the right to be happy if that decision comes down that yes, you are disabled. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t continue to peruse your dreams. I mean, really! I’m working on my second novel to be published. MY BOOK WAS CHECKED OUT OF A LIBRARY.

So, yeah. This is my mid-night ramblings, brain dumping how incredibly blessed I feel to be in my home with my coffee and my puppy, who is asleep on my lap. Live. LIVE.

And loves, anyone who tries to dull your shine? They’re not your tribe.